Suffering Chennai Express! #$%

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I had quit blogging almost a year ago but Chennai Express happened and forced me to wear bloggers hat again.

Since its release, Indian audiences are constantly assaulted with 8 digit revenue earned every day via newspapers, television, PR, radio, online and most importantly by self proclaimed Bollywood trade analysts.

Chennai Express, a third grade script enacted by touted Badshah of Bollywood is a well-marketed product aimed to get money out every Indian including south, and voila, it succeeded! 

This was an Eid release, a territory that gave a taste of success to Salman Khan (back then, an ageing superstar and now a box office star)

With this year being open slot, it was grabbed by desperate Shah Rukh Khan.

Since Shah Rukh Khan is more like a “diplomatic & tactical gorilla” of Bollywood, he managed to get all screens of our country cleared of all the crap they were running (from Chennai Express team’s point of view) only to screen his masterpiece. He also ensured that no other movie (Once Upon a Time in Mumbai Dobaara) was to be released along with his masterpiece so; Indians come to box office only to find no choice. Now, call this strategic marketing, unfair monopoly, flexing muscle or dadagiri does not matter.

The film was released on Thursday, a day before its official release i.e. Friday 9^th of August 2013 only to be called as paid preview (for chamchaas, die hard fans and paid reviewers to give more than 3.5 stars)

As the gates opened on Friday morning, entire Eid celebrating audience (who ban watching TV during Ramadan) along with die-hard fans discover that the tickets are priced at minimum INR. 500 - INR. 750. Well, who cares its Chennai Express! Answer to Iron Man or Avengers kinnda crap that Hollywood makes (yeah, right!)

Now if all these tactics are to be used and then proclaiming to world that we minted 200 crores and soon will break the record for 3 idiots (Bollywood’s highest grossing movie ever) then its very unfair comparison.

Unfair? Yes, unfair. It’s unfair to have Chennai Express top that chart because then people start confusing and eventually believing that minting money is proof of excellent product in our movie industry = “A Masterpiece” and Chennai Express is no Masterpiece.

As far as I remember 3 idiots did not have to resort to this cheap strategy, desperately mint money to show off. It was the content, the acting (40+ playing 20 year old guy, hats off), the social connection and most importantly – direction.

I don’t really want to, but lets re-think the story of the movie. It is short and lame enough for a kid to memorize like some nursery jingle, sad. Apparently, it’s not the story that supposedly glues audiences, its either Deepike Padokone or the exorbitant ticket price they paid to find movie 40% in Tamil with no sub-titles (how inconsiderate). Actually, lets not forget Shah Rukh Khan!

And if you guys missed one of the WTF moment  - why is Meena running to catch a train that goes all the way to her village in stead of running away from it .. In the opposite direction preferably?
I mean what was she hoping? She’d out run the “gundilog” and land safely in Chennai (presumably) without having that ridiculous village crowd stop the train mid way and take her to her “don-nah” appa??!! Or get off at Kalyan? or wherever and go Goa with SRK?

Something that masses offer superstars is, you don't have to act anymore. You can have your arrogant face, wearing attitude and deliver few punch lines borrowed from some comedy show but since you are crowned a superstar, masses prefer you telling those already heard punch lines in your unique style (lame)

This is exactly what Shah Rukh does. Another character, Deepika is so predictable and stereotyped that I started laughing the moment she delivered her first line.

I found it extremely difficult to recall something in Chennai Express that was a genuine attempt in making quality motion picture. I think Indian audience does not look for that anymore. And the saddest part is, when some director takes painful effort in going against all odds and making masterpiece they don't make it to silver jubilee (deceased phenomenon) nor 100 crore club (new yard stick)

With kind of logic, I think Dil Chata Hai should have made 500 crores or declared all time flop/worst movie.

In this blog I am in no way comparing Chennai Express with 3 Idiots or both with Dil Chahta Hai neither I am criticizing Shah Rukh or saying Aamir is better (actually, he is!) but this whole extorting money from entertainment hungry masses, achieving 200 crore target and self-proclaiming that a movie is all time best, is an idiotic method. It’s not correct. It’s like promising cashew nut and realizing you just got peanuts for the same price and the person is who made you fool, enjoys it! In fact asserts it proudly!

I have no idea who is to be blamed for this ridiculous trend. SRK is a decent actor and has lot to experiment (which he wouldn’t), but at the end of the day if making movies has just become a business then Shah Rukh Khan has achieved Ph.D. and he deserves respect for that.

But if someone would ask me what was his finest movie I would have to really think hard. I would say recently, Chak De and all time fav - Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa (all time classic, better than DDLJ)

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I feel sorry and petty for Indian audience, but we (taste in fine, entertaining yet sensible movies) have no right to criticize people who love movies that usually appeal to people with low IQ.

We understand that Bollywood is going through a rough phase and these rotten 2 hour video rakes in 100 crores in one weekend, that does not imply that people don’t want to appreciate brilliance like Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, Rang De Basanti, Lage Raho Munna Bhai, Udaan, My Name is Khan etc. but if you try to substitute that with spoof and expect us to get content, then BOLLYWOOD craps, you better ready steady po!

Review: Ek Tha Tiger

Rating: 3.5/5

Salman Khan – A brand that is getting stronger as each EID is passing by. Ek Tha Tiger is one ultimate project that he could have asked for to put a stamp on cult EID release that he initiated 3 years ago.

Supposedly based on true events the film is essentially a romantic story of two spies from different nation and when the two nation happen to be India and Pakistan there has to be action and pinch of thrill. Avinash Singh Rathode aka Tiger (Salman Khan) is R&AW undercover agent who is in constant hunt of ISI undercover agents in different countries. His new mission brings him to Ireland on basic task of observing a scientist of Indian origin whom the R&AW suspects to have been passing his anti missile theories to ISI. In an attempt to befriend professor (Roshan Seth) he encounters gorgeous care taker Zoya (Katrina Kaif) with whom he falls in love for the first time in his life, well this has been justified by showing Salman Khan being busy for the past 12 years on back to back assignments. Gopi (Ranvir Shorey) as Tiger's colleague in mission is against Tiger falling in love and sparks a few funny moments. Movie starts to thrill after intermission and will make you praise Action Director for making Katrina do some finest stunts on screen.

Talking about the performances Salman Khan is as usual himself and you would not notice any special effort from him to get into the skin of the character. On the other hand his ladylove has gone that extra mile to do justice to her role. She looks absolutely stunning on screen but that's not all she has performed some jaw dropping action sequence and dont be surprised if you find people whistling around you at Katrina. Supporting cast is good and worth mentioning are Girish Karnad as R&AW chief as Shenoy, British actor Roshan Seth as the professor and its a Bollywood debut for punjabi actor Gavie Chahal.

Songs in the movie are appropriately introduced and have been wonderfully shot. The movie has been shot in as many as five countries and cinematographer has done a good job capturing scenic beauties of Istanbul and Cuba.

This is Director Kabir Khan's third film and I think the best one till date. Unlike his previous flicks this one is pacy, action filled with simple to understand plot something that audiences of our country can relate to on Independence day.

Aditya Chopra seems to have calculated every aspect of this most anticipated movie. Be it the cast, marketing strategy and even the release date. He had already gauged that Salman has been en-cashing EID releases due to his enormous loyal fan following and releasing the movie mid week instead of Friday will give multiplexes more time to make revenues rather than just relying on weekend collection to add to that the ticket price has almost been doubled to get the most revenue recovered within a week and trade analysts are already pointing towards its success.

We understand that Salman Khan has done couple of non sense movies in past and manged to cross 100 crores supposedly but don't let that thought hold you back from watching this one.

Tiger is really roaring hard for masses to cough out 100 crores!

Review: GANGS OF वासेपुर – 2

Words: 567

Rating: 4/5

As you all know we really appreciated director Anurag Kashyap for his fearless attempt called Gangs of वासेपुर which made an impression on everyone from Cannes to our own Bollywood.

GANGS OF वासेपुर – 2 released this week with lot of eagerness in fans of GOW -1 and the wait was worth it. The only movie I can remember of, that released in 2 parts ever was Rakht Charitra starring Vivek Oberoi but it couldn’t manage to generate the kind of anticipation GOW has managed to attain. 

To enjoy this movie all you need to know is that Faizal Khan’s grandfather and father were killed by Ramadhir Singh and grandson Faizal Khan has an inherited sort of revenge responsibility, everything else in part 2 falls in place. Anurag Kashyap has kept the two parts of the movie far from complicated interlinks and flashbacks which usually directors do; to make sure you watch the prequel(s) to follow the conclusive part.

Wasseypur is no more the town that was once consumed by the raging war between Sardar Khan and Ramadhir Singh. It has spawned a new generation of money squandering lobbyists, turning into foolhardy gangs overnight. With illegal profiteering through scrap trade auctions over the Internet, corrupt government officials, election rigging and hooliganism, the town got murkier. Everyone wanted alliance with the most powerful man of Wasseypur, Faizal Khan. His sole ambition however, is to annihilate Ramadhir Singh, the man with the grand scheme. Gangs of वासेपुर - 2 is a fitting conclusion to this story of vengeance, which by now, not just the family but also this town has come to inherit.

Talking about the performances, every character is just - wow! Be it perpendicular, Definite, Tangent or the star of the movie Faizal Khan a.k.a Nawazuddin Siddiqui. With his unconventional looks and exceptional acting abilities he has made his every screen presence as sheer brilliance. Portrayed as an underdog in the first part and the start of the second part he effortlessly transitions between the change of characterizations and comes up as the protagonist who avenges what his family and city wanted.

Another striking element in the movie is the casting. Each character has been well casted e.g. the guy who sings in Bhojpuri style or Perpendicular that fellates a razor blade in his mouth every cast is apt, new and yet does not give you that amateur performance in fact their performance is better than some of the so called stars in our industry! Thanks to casting director Mukesh Chabbra and I will not be surprised if he walked away with couple of award for it at the end of this year.

The actresses in the movie are meaningful. Especially Richa Chadda playing Faizal’s mother impressively evolves into an aged lady who is confident and forces his son to seek revenge.

The way movie is shot and presented on the screen is commendable in fact you should look forward to a chase sequence, amidst the bustling city is as real as it gets. Songs are crude and reflect the flavor of the movie.  The movie claims that it is based on real incidents that occurred in Bihar over the period of 6 decades so people who may complain or suggest that story could have better should get their answers since director chose not to tamper with it.

The movie sure has turned out to be magnum opus.

Review: Kyaa Super Kool Hain Hum

Words:478

Rating: 1.5/5

Out of many Bollywood sequels releasing this year Kyaa Super Kool Hain Hum stood out as the only one in the comic genre. Promos had already annoyed a large section of audience along with censor board but Ekta Kapoor is known to defend her movies and as we know she has been choosing subjects that are always controversial!

Kya Super Kool Hain Hum has same two characters from its prequel; Adi (Tusshar Kapoor) is an aspiring actor who makes money by doing embarrassing TV commercials while Sid (Ritesh Deshmukh) is yet to be successful DJ. They both are best friends and are looking for a chance to make it big in their lives. Until then they have a pug named Fakhru/Sakhru (there was a big uproar about the name from the presidential family) who impregnates barren female dogs in clinic and thus earning money for Adi and Sid. As it happens in pointless so called comedy movies, complications lead Adi and Sid to land in Goa where they find Simran (Neha Sharma) and Anu (Sarah Jane-Dias) thus the love story begins. To make the story even messy we have Anupam Kher as Mr. Marlowe who believes Baba 3G (Chunky Pandey) when he lets him know that his parents are re-incarnated as pugs!

It is not the story that engages you but I guess it’s the double meaning adultery dialogues that will make you laugh if you would understand them in first attempt. Producers have left no stone unturned in humiliating gays, Lesbians and even Indian names. The movie has gone through major edits on the Censor table and despite that it has got ‘A’ certificate along with no clearance to premier on television any time soon. Nevertheless, the movie still has managed to find audiences in large numbers, specially the youths.

Talking about the actors and actress in the movie, they solely rely on the shameless punch lines given to them with a little pinch of acting. It is very sad to see Veteran actor Anupam Kher play an absolute non-sense character. Tusshar is hopeless and I wouldn’t hesitate to say that about Ritesh as well despite knowing that he has done decent roles in the past. Neha and Sarah just end up being eye candy characters that help join the dots in the story with their respective co-partners. Sister Ekta Kapoor makes fun of her brother by roping in Rohit Shetty which is so lame.

Songs are unnecessary, cinematography is poor and script…are you kidding? Director Sachin Yardi who had co-written the prequel (which was surprise hit) this time seems to have written and directed with a gun to his head.

Watch it only if you are in need of desperate laugh. Most of the jokes are common ones circulating as Facebook status or on SMS and email.

It’s a movie that is not worth a review. 

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Review: The Amazing Spider-Man

It is inevitable to compare the friendly neighborhood spidey with the amazing spidey. With that being said we must admit that The Amazing Spider-Man is a bold attempt from director Marc Webb. It is not easy to erase Spider-Man series starring Tobey Maguire, from the hearts of fans across the world but then, we guess director is not trying to do that either. Hollywood is calling this as a reboot of the Spider-Man franchise.

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Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker aka Spider-Man has managed to live and breathe the character in a unique way. His character is funnier, has attitude and is of course amazing! Although it could be questionable during the climax of the movie.

Unlike Tobey, this one isn’t a ‘loser’, and in fact enjoys his superhero powers. He doesn’t have too much trouble accepting his newfound talent and cracks a joke or two while fighting the bad guy.

Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy is a smart, charismatic and rebellious girl and does not make you miss Kirsten Dunst as MJ. The story is more meaningful with the writer telling us how Peter Parker lands up with Mr & Mrs. Ben or be it how Spider-Man shoots web from his hands. Director Marc Webb has really tried hard in re-presenting iconic dialogue of uncle Ben about great powers and responsibility with a paragraph long advise which fails to leave an impression however the famous kissing scene between upside down Spider-Man and MJ has been replaced with more likeable situation and gets applauded by the audiences.
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So, with the movie tweaked here and there its a familiar story that you can look forward to. Antagonist Dr. Connors (Rhys Ifans) as The Lizard is the key scientist who is amputated at Oscorps' and has been working all his life to develop a formula that can help in regeneration of human body. Finally, he gets the formula thanks to Peter Parker and does a human trial on himself and things go terribly wrong and transforming him into a Lizard. Comparing him to Goblin as super villain, you will feel Goblin was definitely far better but who cares? There are other stuff in the movie that keep it engaging and worth watching for example chemistry between real life (speculations!) couple Andrew and Emma.

If we remember, Irfan khan was touted as the villain in the next Spider-Man movie but unfortunately his role is even shorter than that of Anil Kapoor in Mission Impossible 4. None the less, the kind of amazing actor Irfan is, he has definitely left a mark even with the short screen time given to him.

The visual effects are mind blowing specially during the climax of the movie and watching it in IMAX or 3D just adds more to it.

The Amazing Spider-Man has already raked in moolah last weekend and if you missed it then its time to go-watch-get amazed.

Review: GANGS OF वासेपुर

Anurag Kashyap has time and again proven to be a path breaking director and this time he presents - GANGS OF वासेपुर.

Anurag Kashyap and his team got a chance to screen this 5 hour long ambitious film at the Cannes and they gathered accolades from all, however the team has planned the commercial release of the movie in two parts in India.

The Story is based on true events and locations but the director took his cinematic liberty to play with the names of characters and the flow of story. Much of the film revolves around Sardar Khan (led by Manoj Bajpai) and his vengeance to get his father, Shahid Khan (led by Jaideep Ahlawat) honor back.

Its booming coal industries during the colonial India and chaos begins among contenters from high society to own them while India gets Independence. Shahid Khan starts to loot British goods train impersonating legendary Sultana Daku who does not belong to his caste. Furious with his act the villagers exile him after killing his men. Shahid starts to work as a laborer in one of the coal industry in Dhanbad owned by Ramadhir Singh (led by Tigmanshu Dhulia) and soon becomes his trusted aide. Villagers now fear Shahid. As Ramadhir gets to know Shahids plan to own the coal industry by crushing him and thus Ramadhir gets him assassinated. This sets the theme for the brutal revenge based saga spread across generations on a lawless land of Wasseypur.

Aside from the big name in film that give structure to the story there are bunch of other fabulous character artists that join the dots and take the story watching experience to another level. Actor Piyush Mishra (Gulaal fame) attempts voice over for the first time and it blends in well with the dark theme of the movie and takes the story forward when it really gets cumbersome for the audiences.

It is hard to remember a last Manoj Bajpai starrer movie generating this kind of buzz among audiences and critics at the same time. He was often sidelined while sharing screen pace with the biggies in his recent movies but looks like he finally got the commercial success that he long waited for. He is naughty and polygamous but brutal at the same time and not deviating from his goal in life to de-throne Ramadhir Singh and fulfill his revenge.

You cannot praise enough Anurag Kashyap for his fearless effort that just stands out of traditional Bollywood cinema and gives crude local flavor of north India, dialogues filled with raw maa-bhen filled galore and most importantly not cutting down the story time line to 3 hours pleasing the audience instead he chose to release in two parts that has rarely been tried before.

And, despite the film being dark, ‘GANGS OF वासेपुर’ has an inherent sense of humor that comes quite naturally as the film unfolds. The scenes which really stand out for its hilarious moments are when Reema Sen is charmed by Manoj Bajpayee over her daily chores or the one where Nawazuddin Siddiqui goes on a formal date with Huma Qureshi.

So, if you have been fan of Omkara, Rakht Charitra and recently Pan Singh Tomar then this movie will definitely delight you (don't complain about the length) and if you wait long enough in the theater after all the credits have rolled up you will witness the trailer of the GANGS OF वासेपुर - 2

Review: Ferrari Ki Sawari

It has almost been a year since The Legend has sold his Ferrari.
The movie is not about the political and media uproar that was caused when Sachin R Tendulkar decided to sell off the Ferrari he possessed. Instead, the script writer cleverly weaves the God of cricket and his master of speed together.

Ferrari Ki Sawari manages to engage the audience with Boman Irani as the grandfather, Sharman Joshi as the father and debutant Ritvik Sahore as a child who make a small Parsi family. Kayo (Ritvik Sahore) is a young boy who is passionate about cricket, just like his grandfather who could not make it to the Indian cricket team and hence, does not encourage his grandson to play the sport. Rusy (Sharman Joshi) is an honest and loving father who will do anything for his son irrespective of their financial crunch. Rusy needs to pay one and a half lakh rupees in order to send his extremely talented child to Lords, the mecca of cricket. An opportunity knocks at his door that can get him the money to do so,  the catch is that he has to steal the Ferrari for a day and on top of that, he has to steal it from the man whom his family worships!

Can he do it? Will he do it? How will he do it? These questions pop up while the debutant director takes us on a feel good joy ride.

Since Boman Irani is a Parsi in real life, his performance is effortless and natural. He makes you believe in his character by personifying the minute details on how senior citizens walk, talk and behave. Another star, Sharman Joshi is just outstanding! He manages to make audiences smile and even cry with his sweet demeanor. The child artist Ritvik Sahore, is equally good on screen with such innocence. The relationship between a father and a son across generations is very well portrayed.

Despite getting a lukewarm response last weekend, it has managed to strike a chord with the family audiences with its noble and heart warming story of "small guys big dreams".

Some might complain about the movie being lengthy and slow during a few intervals, but the overall package cannot be missed.
Vidya Balan's item song, "mala jau de" blends in well with the script and is wonderful to watch in theaters. The only thing that could have added more face value to the movie would be Sachin Tendulkar. In fact, in the end you will end up getting that feeling and hate the director for not trying to rope him in the movie since it's about his Ferrari.

You cannot afford to miss Ferrari Ki Sawari, especially if you have been waiting for a movie that can be enjoyed along with your family. So fasten your seat belts and enjoy the ride!

Review: Prometheus

Ridley Scott gave us Alien more than 3 decades ago and it went out to become an Academy Award winner with other directors using the same character in their movies.

In 2012 Director Ridley Scott made a come back with Prometheus, which is being propagated as a prequel of Alien.

Noomi Rapace as Elizabeth Shaw, an archaeologist and Logan Marshall-Green as Charlie Holloway discover that throughout the existence of mankind different civilizations have worshiped a particular constellation in space that leads them to believe that somewhere near that space lies the secret to mankind’s beginning. This expedition is funded by a Trillionaire, Peter Weyland played by Guy Pearce. The always beautiful Charlize Theron playing Meredith Vickers, the captain of the ship and Michael Fassbender plays a super-advanced robot that looks after it. Along with other members of the group, they're on a mission of finding the origin of mankind on Earth. It’s the spaceship that’s called Prometheus in the movie which lands on the surface of a deserted planet, thus beginning the discovery of the existence of life.

The story line reminds you of Alien but the journey in Prometheus is quite different with breath taking special effects and great cinematography. Releasing the movie in 3D and IMAX 3D only adds more life to this magnificent science fiction film. You have the same elements of thrill: an alien infection, a difference of opinion amongst the characters, women portrayed as tough fighters and alien horror. In the climax there was a common similarity between the prequel and sequel. The performance stealer without a doubt is Noomi Rapace with the delivery of a scene to remember.

The tag line of the movie "The search for our beginning could lead to our end" is well justified with flaws that are always excused in this genre. 

An ambitious project from Ridley Scott who left no stone unturned to promote this epic after his previous mega project, Robin Hood bombed at the box office. Alien fans all over the world would expect answers to questions that were left unanswered in Alien, but unfortunately in the end, the mystery continues. Could it be that Ridley Scott is already thinking about number three? If so, hopefully there will be more of a logical plot behind the amazing effects. Then again, it's science fiction.

Prometheus will not get the same response as Madagascar 3 when looking at the entertainment value of the film, which released along with Shanghai in Indian multiplexes last Friday.

Review: Shanghai

It all started years back when our honorable chief minister declared that he wanted to turn Mumbai into Shanghai, a world class city. Soon the vision was ridiculed by the media and later by the city. Till date, The city's infrastructure is in an apathetic condition, let alone transforming the city into a world class one.

Dibakar Banerjee successfully picks up that theme and projects it on the silver screen. He goes further in conveying when dreams are envisioned by our political clad, what it takes to make it successful and how far they can go to achieve it.

The movie starts with local goons’ planning of assassinating an activist who is opposing a mega-scale slum redevelopment plan. The movie then takes us through a journey on how political and bureaucratic people control situations involving 3 protagonists and ends as a thriller that leaves a smile on the audience's face along with a sense of relief; finally it’s over!

Both lead actors in the past have stuck to singular style of their own; in Shanghai they rediscovered their versatility.

Prosenjit Chatterjee, an acclaimed actor from West Bengal, has already made a mark in Bollywood with "Chokher Bali". He could've had a larger role in the film but the given part didn't do justice to his capabilities as an artist. Thus, the 3 protagonists got the chance to light up the screen with a fine performance.

Abhay Deol, who has mostly portrayed a Delhiite in his past flicks for a change plays a South Indian high ranking bureaucrat. He justifies his character by adopting the accent which is charmingly delivered.

The director plays it safe by being tight with kalki koechlin's dialogues but as usual she managed to give a powerful performance by emoting her feelings through her expressive face.

Emran Hashmi plays an interesting character who is a photographer by day and a pornography cameraman by night. He has gradually broken out of his shell with the roles he has recently picked up and has been doing an excellent job with them. In shanghai he steals the show with his hatke performance that is sure going to be appreciated by all. In fact Emran is the character who gives us comedic moments in this serious political thriller that make you smile.

The story is hard hitting and thought provoking and matches with the current scenarios of Indian politics. Music is okay, with 2 songs already received well by audiences across the nation.

Dibakar Banerjee is sure to get critical acclaim.

At the end, this movie exercised the versatility of each actor. If you are a fan of serious political dramas, then this movie is for you, but if you are looking for a typical masala flick, you can afford to miss it or rather catch it up on the World Television Premiere ;)